Post by Ayame_Ex Goddess on Apr 6, 2009 9:50:22 GMT -5
The Balls Are Inert:
A Dragonball: Evolution Review
by: Ayame Nelson
Mostly, I just wanted to do this to satisfy Nick, and seeing as I haven't actually SEEN the movie in theaters, this will mostly be a review of the commercial which is probably most of the movie anyway sans any possible character introduction.
First off, Dragonball: Evolution is WAAAAAY too long. I mean, do we really need to dedicate a whole 2 minutes to this travesty against man and nature? I watch it again and again (at least 5 times during your average episode of The Daily Show) and every single time I check my watch to make sure I haven't been pulled into another space-time anomaly. Of course, length is really only the beginning of this Hindenburg of filmmaking. The special effects, such as they are, consist mostly of the main character styling his hair in accordance with the latest from "Social Outcast" magazine and those Crouching Tiger wire flips.
I didn't see this in the trailer, but I think it would have been better if he'd like, used his powers to win the county fair pie bake-off. See, in my version of the film, Goku and Bulma would already be married and happy until Vegeta moves in next door. He plays music too loud, doesn't take care of his yard and he shoots energy balls at nearby rock formations until all hours of the night. Then one day Bulma invites Vegeta over and the he and Goku fight about thier pie making skills. They decide to both enter the Ultimate Earth Pie Baking Challenge. If Vegeta wins then Goku will stop calling the cops on him and if Goku wins then Vegeta will move out. For awhile Goku's training is going alright then something happens -maybe Bulma eats like, a poisioned pie that Goku baked for Vegeta or whatever- and Goku is too depressed to carry on. Then he meets Master Roshi who makes a lot of innuendo with pies (he could be played by Eugene Levy so audiences will already be prepared for this) but is like, the best pie maker ever.
So anyway Goku wins the contest but it's really close like, you know, it comes down to Goku and Vegeta. Maybe Master Roshi dies like the day of the contest just to add a little more drama right at the end. The audience would be all like; "Oh no! Will Goku make the pie?!" And then as he is making it the ghost of Master Roshi appears and he says something inspiriational and Goku bakes...harder I guess. But HERE'S the kicker! Vegeta loses but gains respect for Goku because he won so they become friends! That way in the sequel Buu can move in to the OTHER next-door house and they can team up against him.
Wow. That movie was WAAAAAY better than the commercial. They should have made that instead. Of course, I haven't SEEN the actual film so maybe they did. But I'm guessing not.
A Dragonball: Evolution Review
by: Ayame Nelson
Mostly, I just wanted to do this to satisfy Nick, and seeing as I haven't actually SEEN the movie in theaters, this will mostly be a review of the commercial which is probably most of the movie anyway sans any possible character introduction.
First off, Dragonball: Evolution is WAAAAAY too long. I mean, do we really need to dedicate a whole 2 minutes to this travesty against man and nature? I watch it again and again (at least 5 times during your average episode of The Daily Show) and every single time I check my watch to make sure I haven't been pulled into another space-time anomaly. Of course, length is really only the beginning of this Hindenburg of filmmaking. The special effects, such as they are, consist mostly of the main character styling his hair in accordance with the latest from "Social Outcast" magazine and those Crouching Tiger wire flips.
I didn't see this in the trailer, but I think it would have been better if he'd like, used his powers to win the county fair pie bake-off. See, in my version of the film, Goku and Bulma would already be married and happy until Vegeta moves in next door. He plays music too loud, doesn't take care of his yard and he shoots energy balls at nearby rock formations until all hours of the night. Then one day Bulma invites Vegeta over and the he and Goku fight about thier pie making skills. They decide to both enter the Ultimate Earth Pie Baking Challenge. If Vegeta wins then Goku will stop calling the cops on him and if Goku wins then Vegeta will move out. For awhile Goku's training is going alright then something happens -maybe Bulma eats like, a poisioned pie that Goku baked for Vegeta or whatever- and Goku is too depressed to carry on. Then he meets Master Roshi who makes a lot of innuendo with pies (he could be played by Eugene Levy so audiences will already be prepared for this) but is like, the best pie maker ever.
So anyway Goku wins the contest but it's really close like, you know, it comes down to Goku and Vegeta. Maybe Master Roshi dies like the day of the contest just to add a little more drama right at the end. The audience would be all like; "Oh no! Will Goku make the pie?!" And then as he is making it the ghost of Master Roshi appears and he says something inspiriational and Goku bakes...harder I guess. But HERE'S the kicker! Vegeta loses but gains respect for Goku because he won so they become friends! That way in the sequel Buu can move in to the OTHER next-door house and they can team up against him.
Wow. That movie was WAAAAAY better than the commercial. They should have made that instead. Of course, I haven't SEEN the actual film so maybe they did. But I'm guessing not.
